Victoria S. Hardy

Victoria S. Hardy

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

To Vent or Not To Vent

Have you ever had a call from a friend who needed to vent? And as the dutiful friend you listen compassionately as they complain about their husband, mother, boss, child, co-worker or whoever has offended them. And as you hang up the phone, you suddenly notice that your own attitude has changed, if you were down when you picked up the phone, now you are exhausted and if you were up and happy, you suddenly feel a weight on you. How does that work? Aren't our friends suppose to be able to share their worries and fears with us, isn't that what friendship is about?

What is venting exactly? Well the dryer has a vent and it goes to the outside of the house, not the inside where our family and friends gather. And what if our dryer vented inside the house, it becomes a damp, tropical enviroment where mold and fungus grows readily. Our cars vent to the outside as well, if not, the fumes are so toxic we die. And I believe the same is to be said for venting among friends and family, venting creates negative energy, toxic and health threatening energy. Somehow, with so many words being uttered everyday, we have begun to think that our thoughts and our words are harmless, remember the rhyme from childhood, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Well it is not true. Words do hurt, they injure and create circumstances that may not have existed until the words were spoken.

As an evolved society it is time we relearn that thoughts are things and words create reality. I believe that gossip is Black Magic, it has an energy that is real and palpable. If you don't believe that, check out your own energy as you talk about another, stop and feel your body, feel you heart accelerate, feel the rush that occurs when you hear negative speculation, notice the excitment in which you share the dark tidbit with others. That energy is real, dark and it affects you and the person that you are tearing apart.

Yes, not talking about people may mean you don't talk a lot, but are all those words neccessary? And what are you avoiding by filling the air with words? We were given a myriad of ways to express ourself, our pains, our worries, our fears without cluttering up the world with negative words, we can paint, write, sing, dance, build, play, exercise, pray, sew, create, meditate, daydream, explore, volunteer, give, learn, etc.

So the next time you are about to share who slept with who or who called who a bitch or what she had the nerve to wear to work, stop and think about what you are creating, because in the end, what we put into the world, comes right back to us.