Dafuq?

Dafuq? 

Okay, I suppose I am a bit fed up with both sides of the agenda.  Sometimes the worst place is being in my brain. 

I am a Christian – I love all folks, I don’t care if they are gay or transitioning or straight as a board, black or multi-colored or illustrated or speaking a language I can’t understand.  If they are nice to me, then I am nice to them and deem them worthy of my time and attention and help and good feelings and love. 

We, as nation, have become a mess, but I know at my core we haven’t become a mess on our own; we have become the disrupted angry mess from the forces over us that display one story day after day, without telling the others.  We listen, of course, because we want to be informed and we trust the leaders to lead us to truth, but guess what? … they only lead us to more confusion, disruption, and hate. 

And truthfully, it makes my soul ache. 

The story of the county clerk who refused to issue a marriage license to a gay couple is all over the news.  But guess what?  The gay couple was not from the county in which she served and brought media along, and pastors are condemning her on her past, evidently not understanding what John the Baptist made clear, and all that stuff about being born again – dafuq?? 

I literally made my husband write the word dafuq down for me because I could never remember how to spell it (because it’s not a real word), but it’s a softer curse word than I want to say.

Sometimes I’m so disgusted by humanity I wonder why God makes me linger here.  I trust God, and I know God accepts us all, be we tatted, gay, unsure of our gender, or wear mixed cloth, or all the myriad of sins we could use to judge another (eat any seafood recently?).  God sees the good in us, and God knows our intentions, and whether or not they are good or bad. 

I have surmised for a long time that most true Christians don’t even know they are Christian.  They aren’t so much the churchgoers piling money in the bucket, but they are the ones helping people in the way they have.  They are the ones giving a few bucks to the homeless folk, sending out blankets and water in the time of need.  They are the ones lifting up others and not condemning folks.

What I have seen this week, months, and years has broken my heart.  I don’t understand the world, and I literally know it’s a miracle I am still here and alive.  I’m not always happy about the fact that I am still here and alive. 

In my journey, I have met the greatest people, people that literally sacrifice parts of themselves to make others better – most of those folks don’t identify as Christian.  I have also met Christians who are wonderful, and luckily I am related to many of them.  I have also known people who struggle so hard and give so much and are so scared by the Christian identity that they could never own it. 

I think much of the dichotomy and confusion comes down to media.  I won’t name names here, but there are so many folks in my world who have truly touched my heart, helped me, and lifted me in the darkest times who are not self-professed Christians.  And I’m pretty sure the Bible makes clear that there will be wolves in sheep’s clothing, especially in the age we are approaching, or are perhaps wrapped inside of these days.

Right now I see good folks on both sides struggling to define the boundaries and arguing with each other - and it hurts me.  Good folk are simply good folk, and it doesn’t come from a skin color, a sexual preference, or a religion.  God, whichever one you believe, or don’t, will figure it out. 

I, for myself, absolutely know that energy doesn’t end and simply transforms, and I can’t wait to see who I meet on the other side.  I have my ideas, because some people are too awesome for words, and I have been blessed to know so many!

It’s such a struggle right now, but I know it’s not a struggle of our own making; the media – ever keeping us divided – is doing the thing. 

In one day, when I have to snark at a Christian friend and an atheist friend over the same subject, I know it’s not us. 

Truth be told we love each other and only learn we don’t when we consume too much media. 

Please be smart folks, you are literally all we have. 

As always, keep seeking.